Digital Chum - Virtual fish guts and other nonsense

February, 2009:

Surviving in a Post-Apocalyptic World

This report hits the nail on the head. Although I think that more education needs to occur than just what video games can provide, I couldn’t agree more with statements such as “playing video games all day, alone and friendless, is simply the best way that we have to prepare our children for a life of solitude in a barren wasteland.”

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

This is Outstanding!

MermaidWETA Workshop, the company that did all the crazy weapons and armor for the Lord of the Rings movies, fulfilled a double-amputee’s dream by creating a mermaid tail for her so she could swim. Aside from it looking very cool and letting the woman swim quite well, it’s a great thing that WETA took it upon themselves to do it for the woman. I love hearing about stuff like this.

Thanks to Infidelicacy for the link!

The Prime Donut Rule

DonutsToday being Fastnacht Day, a generous coworker bought some fastnachts to share with everyone, which is a commendable act… almost as commendable as providing free bacon, but that’s another story.

I glanced into one of the fastnacht bags to pick out a bit of doughy, sugary goodness and saw, much to my chagrin, a knife and a third of a fastnacht next to the whole ones. Someone had actually gone to the trouble of cutting a fastnacht into three pieces. Count ’em! Three!

It’s outrageous!

Donuts (and fastnachts by relation) are whole entities. They should not be torn, cut, bent, broken, poked, or sliced by any utensil other than human teeth (pet treats notwithstanding). If you can eat half a donut, you can eat a whole donut and it really won’t make that much of a difference to your diet. If, for some unearthly reason, you feel that you cannot somehow manage to scarf down an entire entity of glazed or sugary or iced or jelly-filled goodness, you should simply refrain from partaking at all… or eat what you can and dispose of the remainder.

Donuts are art. Splitting up a donut is therefore destruction of art and should not be tolerated. It’s as close as you can come to blasphemy without getting all biblical! Eat it or don’t! I think I’ll make a bumper sticker out of that.

Next thing you know, people are going to start suggesting that we make fake bacon out of turkey.

What’s the world coming to!?

Hello, Pot? This is Kettle.

Republican Sermon

Click to embiggen

I’ve been following the shenanigans regarding the new stimulus bill, and have been shaking my head in dismay. I see the usual accusations of pork (which are almost always warranted) and the sniping by both sides about how something is or isn’t going to work… the usual ideological tripe from both sides.

What I find most amazing, though, is the hypocrisy. Isn’t that always the case? The Republicans are screaming about all the spending and unanimously voted against it in the House. However, for the original “bailout” when there was a Republican administration in the White House, fully half of the House Republicans voted for it, pushing it out so fast that the promised “oversight” of the companies receiving taxpayer money basically flew out the window with our 800+ billion dollar commitment.

Now that there’s a Democratic administration in the White House, though, the thought of spending all that money for a bailout somehow offends Republicans. They claim that it’s because of the pork and the faulty ideology behind the bailout plan, but make no mention of the fact that the plan they previously voted for did virtually nothing. Far be it from them to give a different set of ideas a fighting chance.

Given some time to look into the proposed new bailout, I have no doubt that I could find a lot of things that I’d think were absurd, wasteful, and irresponsible. I would, however, probably find a lot of things that sound promising. Despite my distaste for partisan politicking, I understand the reality that the political process is one big (probably corrupt) negotiation and if both sides don’t come to the table with the mutual goal of doing beneficial things for this country and a flexibility to listen to contrasting opinions, Congress might as well just close its doors.

Republicans, seemingly unwilling to do that, have their “We Love Rush” blinders on and their pouty bottom lips out in a hypocritical, childish display of misplaced solidarity.

Fun with Computer Monitors

I didn’t do this, but it looks very much like something that my buddy Drew and I would have done back when we worked for Armstrong. Now that I see this, it saddens me to think that we never conceived of the idea ourselves. *sigh*

Computer Monitor Arch

We don’t need no stinkin’ wizard!

Being a fan of all things Wizard of Oz and having a somewhat twisted sense of humor, I was, of course, delighted to find this image. What’s even better is that you can get it on a t-shirt at Neat-O-Rama… along with some other brilliant t-shirts.


I love this quote…

I saw this posted by Megavirus over at Library Grape and thought his comment on the quote was terrific!

Obama said:

I’m not going to make any excuses. If stuff hasn’t worked and people don’t feel like I’ve led the country in the right direction, then you’ll have a new president.

Metavirus’s comment about the quote is:

This must be what it feels like to have an adult running the country.

I LOL’d, but it’s so true.

Wells Fargo CEO doesn’t get it

Yesterday, CNN’s Campbell Brown took Wells Fargo to task, not for canceling their lavish Vegas shindig, but for taking out two full-page ads in newspapers as a “thank you” to employees and to blame the media for the cancellation of their extravagant employee recognition festivities.

In the ads, Wells Fargo’s CEO announced all of its big employee events for the year have now been canceled. He then blamed the media and said that our one-sided reporting on this subject makes every employee recognition event sound like a boondoggle. And that ultimately, our misleading reports have hurt Wells Fargo employees who deserve a pat on the back, and hurt the tourism industry since they aren’t taking these trips anymore.

I echo Campbell Brown’s reply of “Give me a break.” Wells Fargo shouldn’t be whining and complaining that the big, mean media is trashing them for a flagrant waste of taxpayer money. They should be thanking the media for setting them straight and reminding them that, without that taxpayer bailout money, they wouldn’t have jobs to appreciate in the first place.

She continues.

And do you really think the best use of your money right now is to buy full page newspapers ads trashing the media, disguising the ads as thank you notes to your employees?

You want to thank your workers, try e-mail. Put the letter on your Web site instead. It won’t cost a dime.

Exactly. If they really were just concerned about thanking their employees, that’s what they would have done… used email or their website. Taking out full-page ads just shows that what they’re interested in is playing the victim. They want to portray themselves as “poor Wells Fargo” because they can’t properly thank their employees. They’re pouting because they can’t throw their big, extravagant, 12-day party this year because of that damned media. Then they have the gall to say that they “hope Americans will understand when a company tries to do the right thing by honoring its employees.”

Yes. I think Americans will understand when a company honors its employees. But I don’t think Americans will understand, or more importantly sympathize with, a company who takes taxpayer bailout money and then wants to spend it in irresponsible, unproductive, and outlandish ways. Once that bailout money is paid back in full with interest, they can do whatever they want with their income.

To add insult to injury, the Wells Fargo CEO evidently has warned of possible job cuts this year.

If they’re strapped for cash and need to lay people off, spending bailout money on parties is even more reprehensible.

I think it’s time for their CEO to step down… with no parachute.

Lunch Bag Art

Lunch Bag ArtI just found this website while checking out PvP, a web comic that I follow.

It’s a dad who creates new artwork on his kids’ lunchbags every day and he’s got a bunch of the bags on display on his website. Check them out. They’re pretty amazing… and it’s such a fun thing for a dad to do for his kids!

Cool dads rock.

Random Borders Book Discovery, FTW!

Zombie HaikuI’ve been a fan of zombies for quite some time, so any time I get a chance to partake in some new zombie shenanigans, it’s a good day.

I was at Borders Bookstore today to spend my newly earned $20 in Borders Bucks (along with a 30% off coupon) and after picking up a book about dinosaurs for my daughter and 40 Days and 40 Nights and The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for me, I was briefly perusing the humor section (it was on the way to the checkout counter) and stumbled across this gem entitled Zombie Haiku.

I paused and stared blankly at the book on the shelf for a good 15 or 20 seconds, stunned. Then, without another thought, I reached down, grabbed the book, and tossed it in my basket without even looking through it.

Oh, it was worth it! It starts out posing as someone’s poetry journal, but there’s a story scribbled in the margins from someone locked in a bathroom in order to avoid the zombies outside, knowing that he will inevitably be devoured, since he had no way to escape. He explains that the journal was being held by a zombie whose arm he had hacked off. The rest of the “poetry journal” shows the haiku of the former owner as he transforms from a puzzled office worker (Why all the car accidents in the morning? Why is nobody at the office? Why is Beth in her car eating spaghetti? Oh my god, that’s not spaghetti!) to minion of the undead.

Here’s a brief sampling…

Beth from accounting
is just sitting in her car
eating spaghetti.

I ask her what’s up
but she just eats in her car.
Something’s wrong with Beth.

That escalates to things like…

They surround the car
and are all moaning something.
Is that the word “trains”?!

…and then…

There’s nothing quite like
the pain you feel while dying —
switching to hunger.


One thing on my mind,
only one thing on my mind.
I’m going to eat you.

…and my favorite so far…

Brains, BRAINS, Brains, brains, BRAINS.
Brains, brains, Brains, BRAINS, Brains, brains, BRAINS.
BRAINS, Brains, brains, BRAINS, brains.

It just keeps going after that with some real gems, depicting the continuing adventure of life as a zombie.

The author ends with a heartfelt haiku thanks to George Romero.

To George Romero:
Because of you, I’m screwed up.
Thanks for your movies

Ah, zombies.